You know how sometimes you hear a word, and then it seems to pop up everywhere? Since my 12-minute conversation( a recent interview), the word “resentment” has been coming up for me. I’ve read about it and, wow, I’ve really felt it—again.
What I’ve realized is that I need to bring myself back into balance regarding the people, places, and things in my life.
There are resentments—anger, disappointment, sadness, repeated hurts—that can be relatively easy to let go of. But it’s the recurring ones, the situations involving people like bosses, co-workers, family members, and neighbors, that are the trickiest to navigate.
So what can you do? I’ve started using a new self-reflective question:
Do I need more information to make MY choice?
Often, resentment arises when we feel we have no choice, or when we feel unseen, unheard, or unsafe. This self-questioning helps interrupt the fight, flight, freeze, or fawn response and slows down the emotional rush.
In long-term relationships, I’ve gained a new perspective over the years. When a recent interaction reinforced what I already knew about someone—a pattern of disappointment—I reminded myself:
“Oh, I know him; this is what he does. No surprise here!” I chose to focus on a solution that serves me and decided not to “stew” over it.
Just a little (bad word) backhanded energy there, because I’m not carrying this anymore!
You might want to read this client testimonial The Miracle of Letting Go
