How To Consciously Flirt With Your Wife

I recently stumbled upon an article that was thought provoking and wanted to share it.

Not to be a Debby Downer but it talked about why women leave the men they love. Yikes!!!


After a client exchanged about a heart connected relationship

During a recent conversation, changing the names to protect the man and woman, between two people who loved each other, highlighting how sometimes love is not enough.

Within even a fun, carefree, heart-opening moment between a husband and wife, the husband had missed the opportunity to connect, deeply and intimately and his wife was left feeling lonely.

This woman wasn’t looking for diamonds, furs or an expensive vacation. She was looking to be seen, heard, validated and loved the cherished way. A moment struck her and she was flushed with nostalgia. She reached out to her man to remind him of it and share her feelings of longing and know what that guy did??? NOTHING! Didn’t respond in-kind or acknowledge any attempts to connect. He just bent down and tied his shoe!

Our lives are so jammed packed with to-dos that it’s easy to loose sight of being present for the most important person in our life, aka our spouse or partner.

What I remember so vividly from the Making Dads Summit was the concept of Male’s ability to compartmentalize their lives and the differences in perspective from the partner on what that means and the lag time for the male brain to literally shift from one compartment to the other to engage.

Here’s the TO-DO from the article “ Why women leave men they love – What every man needs to know”

If you think you’re present with your wife, try listening to her. Does your mind wander? Notice. When you look at her, how deeply do you see her? Look again, look deeper. Meet her gaze and keep it for longer than usual, longer than comfortable. If she asks what you’re doing, tell her. “I’m looking into you. I want to see you deeply. I’m curious about who you are. After all these years I still want to know who you are every day.” But only say it if you mean it, if you know it’s true.

Touch her with your full attention. Before you lay your hand on her, notice the sensation in your hand. Notice what happens the moment you make contact. What happens in your body? What do you feel? Notice the most subtle sensations and emotions. (This is sometimes called mindfulness.) Tell her about what you’re noticing, moment-to-moment.

But you’re busy. You don’t have time for this. How about five minutes? Five minutes each day. Will you commit to that? I’m not talking about extravagant dinners or nights out (although those are fine too). I’m talking about five minutes every day to be completely present to the woman you share your life with.

To be completely open – hearing and seeing without judgment. Will you do that? I bet once you start, once you get a taste, you won’t want to stop.

Why Women Cheat on Their Husband – Justice Schanfarber Counseling – Campbell River BC

Just five minutes can save your marriage! Now that is the sexiest type of flirting to me!

Don’t” forget to listen or re-listen to Dr. John Gray and Tamara Green’s presentation from the summit titled “Stress of Sex” and how to create conscious intimacy within your partnership.
Watch Tamara and Dr. John Gray

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