Guest Post by Heidi Hayes
Does anything feel heavier than one more negative pregnancy test lying in your hand? I wish there was a way to describe the pain, but it’s impossible to explain the defeat you can feel over something that was never there in the first place.
After years of trying to conceive naturally, failed IUI’s, and unsuccessful IVF cycles, my husband and I were at a loss. With the news that my own eggs just weren’t viable for pregnancy, it felt like the end of the road.
Until a pamphlet in our doctor’s office renewed our hope, that is.
It was while we were walking out through the waiting room after the crushing news that we spotted a pamphlet for a company offering donor eggs. It felt like fate that we’d seen it at our lowest point. With a little help from the marketing gods, our dream of having a family was reignited.
Making the Choice to Use Frozen Donor Eggs
I’m not going to say that the decision to use an egg donor was instantaneous. Although it seemed like such a valid option, I still had to decide if I was comfortable with the idea of another woman being the biological mother of my child. As relieved as I felt to have this choice available, I couldn’t help but feel angry that I had to rely on someone else to have a baby. Why had my body turned against me? What had I done wrong?
It took months before I felt confident enough in our choice to contact the donor egg bank we’d been considering. Before I could make that leap, I needed to mull over my emotions and fully come to terms with our situation. But once I had made my decision, I couldn’t make that phone call quick enough.
Pick an Egg Donor – Any Donor
The first step in beginning our frozen donor egg IVF cycle was to actually find a donor. Thankfully, the company we were working with had multitudes of amazing candidates to choose from. Whether we were looking for someone that shared my physical attributes, heritage, or personality traits, it seemed like the possibilities were endless.
One thing that brought us comfort during our decision-making process was the highly-involved screening process that each of these women had gone through prior to the collection of their eggs. There had been medical and psychological screenings, background checks, and interviews to discuss their professional and educational histories.
After we’d weighed our options and finally chosen a donor, the eggs were shipped to our fertility clinic where they would be thawed and fertilized, and eventually transferred to my uterus.
Starting the IVF Process
Before I was ready for an embryo transfer, there was a lot of prep work to be done. I underwent several different tests, including blood work and ultrasounds, to figure out my general reproductive health.
Once my doctor had some baseline information, I began taking a variety of medications to get my uterus ready for our transfer. Drugs like estrogen and progesterone worked diligently to prepare a comfy home for the baby. These prescriptions helped to thicken my endometrial lining and supplement my body with hormones that are necessary to help sustain a pregnancy.
When it was finally time, my husband and I woke up early to drive to our clinic, where a single precious embryo transferred into my uterus through a thin catheter during a pain-free procedure.
We drove back home that day with more optimism than we’d felt in such a long time. I relaxed in bed and dreamed of the sweet little baby that might become ours.
It was an agonizing wait, but two weeks later we arrived back at the clinic for a blood pregnancy test and received the most amazing news… I was pregnant!
Finding Our Happily Ever After
As I sit writing this article, our little girl is dancing around the room. The sorrow and disappointment that used to fill our home have been replaced by her infectious laughter and the memories we’ve made as a family of three.
While it may not have been the path I’d dreamt of as a little girl when I thought of having babies, I will forever be grateful to the trials and tribulations we faced trying to get pregnant. Without that path, and those experiences, this sweet child would not be a part of our lives.