This tale, submitted anonymously, is based on a true story and is a simple, beautiful portrayal of the emotional and social pressures that many men face in silence.

Ball-A and Ball-B are two testicles belonging to the human entity Blake. Ball-A is the brave testicle, and gladly made his descent to separate from Blake’s body and dangle in the world. He wanted to explore the world outside of Blake’s body, to experience crispier temperatures and other delights, despite the dangers of being injured. Ball-B, on the other hand, is more shy and was hesitant to make his descent. He made the journey once when Blake was still developing, but decided to turn back after being poked and prodded by a doctor. Thus Ball-B is still holed up in Blake’s abdomen.

Over the years, Ball-B is content to listen to Ball-A’s experiences in a 3-degrees cooler environment — feeling fluids, being bathed, the chafe and texture of Blake’s underwear, … all those wonders. Unfortunately, Blake is also shy like Ball-B, especially around girls, so Ball-A has yet to have close encounters with the female persuasion. Penis-Pan, who hangs closely with Ball-A, is a little worried that Ball-A by himself might not be able to help him launch enough packets of mini-Blakes should the opportunity to make babies arise. “Don’t worry,” Ball-A reassured. “As long as you can get yourself ready, I’ll give you all the mini-Blakes that I have.”

However, Penis-Pan is too proud to admit that he has problems of his own. He has never, ever been able to get himself in launching position. The very thought makes him tremble in fear and indecision. Not that he hasn’t tried to rev himself up.

Penis-Pan and Ball-B’s reticence and insecurities have heavily influenced Blake, despite Ball-A’s upbeat attitude. Hence Blake was too shy to approach girls. Finally, Blake’s traditional tiger mother grew too impatient for grandchildren when Blake turned 32. She decided to help him out by introducing him to a nice woman and arranging a marriage. Since Ball-B and Penis-Pan were afraid that they might damage Blake’s chances with the woman, Lena, Blake begged his mother not to mention his problems to the woman’s family. “Don’t be stupid,” she hissed. “Of course I won’t! We can solve these problems later.”

On the wedding night, Ball-A was very excited. Finally! He can execute his life’s purpose! He tried cajoling Penis-Pan into action, but Penis-Pan was burdened by the weight of his responsibilities and perceived weaknesses, and refused to budge. Ball-A thought to himself that it might be overall nerves from the long wedding ceremony and the proximity of being near a woman for the first time ever, so he resolved to wait.

That wait turned out to be interminable. Ball-A tried bribery, flattery, scolding, and trickery to rouse Penis-Pan into action, but to no avail. Ball-B pretended that this had nothing to do with him. Late at night, Ball-A would feel the mattress vibrating from Blake’s wife suppressed sobs. Ball-A knew that during the day Tiger Mom kept on dropping casual hints about grandchildren, and at night Penis-Pan refused to deliver. Lena was already doing more than her part: exercising, eating healthily, and doing lots of research. Sooner or later, Ball-A knew, Lena’s saint-like patience is going to snap from stress and unfulfillment and Blake will truly end up alone for the rest of his life. Ball-A definitely does not want to deal with only Penis-Pan, Ball-B, and Blake’s insecurities by himself.

One day, Ball-A decided to appeal to Le Brain. Ball-A never had the courage before, because the might of Le Brain is intimidating and he always seems too busy multi-tasking. After listening to Ball-A’s carefully constructed plea, Le Brain pondered for a moment. “I have noticed the building stress Lena is enduring. As her husband, we should share good times and bad times together, and not let her suffer alone, nor wallow in our own securities by ourselves. I concur that we need to prick Blade’s Conscience into action.” Le Brain concluded.

Cheered, Ball-A helped Le Brain chivy Blake into action. Blake finally accompanied Lena to an infertility clinic, where his great horror of needles and surgeries were brutally tamped down by Ball-A and Le Brain. Ball-B was diagnosed to be pretty much cooked due to his lengthy stay in Blake’s body, and Penis-Pan needed to undergo long-term psychological therapy. The doctor suggested another option – harvesting mini-Blakes from Ball-A. Now it was Ball-A’s turn to feel indecisive. Ball-A was willing to do whatever it takes to launch mini-Blakes at a mini-Lena, but he did not want to take all the credit for propagating Blake’s progeny. Feeling bad about his inability to help make mini-Blakes, Ball-B resolved to be supportive for Ball-A’s sake. Ball-B did not want to be the one responsible for developing cancer in Blake’s body, so he began to work on overcoming his fear of the unknown by agreeing to be relocated as Ball-A’s neighbor and true partner-in-crime.

A year and a half later, Ball-A and Ball-B were incredibly happy and satisfied to look on Blake’s and Lena’s joy in welcoming baby Timothy. This time, Le Brain needed no prompting from Ball-A to ask the doctor to do a thorough check on Timothy’s baby balls.