As I mentioned before… growing up, my mom, my sister and I would say “It could be worse” as a form of self-love talk. Collectively, the pain tolerance level was pretty high off the chart among our single mom and head of household. There wasn’t a lot of space for pity parties and if there was an opening the party never really lasted too long.
I just had a birthday and with the wishes comes a conscious choice to re-examine the past and plot out a new beginning for my next trip around the sun. I am thinking this lap around the sun would be a perfect time to practice self-love and kinder inner chatter.
Our world and the harshness that is present now can be sticky with fear and can trigger internal hidden tender spots that need surfacing for healing. I intuitively feel what we need now, more than ever, is the intent and opening to be internally divinely driven first with self-reliance on our pure self-love, practicing accessing, claiming, and living from the heart.
I feel like a little bit of a broken record with the two self-questioning questions: What do I feel? What do I need?
And go from there shifting and doing what you need, not what you want! Turning away from automatic behavior patterns want/ego) and loving yourself to do what you need is so powerful for all of us now. It feels weird at first, moving away from habits that might keep you stuck in the past or decrease your self-love.
Here’s a tip from my early childhood teaching days that I still use for myself… Instead of saying “don’t run” to my little preschool people I would say “use walking feet” so that they could see in their mind’s eye walking, hear walking and feel walking.
When you’re asking and doing what you need… state it in a way to yourself that is action-driven. Maybe you’re in fight or flight and want to run but the calming approach of directing yourself to take a second and hold tight allows the feelings to rush past to what you need.
But here’s the thing: Practicing good self love through care and chatting you will love yourself more and then create a feedback loop to nourish yourself through healthy intimacy, activities, and basic needs.
Eckhart Tolle says “You find peace not by rearranging the circumstances of your life, but by realizing who you are at the deepest level.” which I personally believe is unadulterated pure love.
I Speak to Myself Harshly because???
Whisper sweet nothings to yourself for the next three days. Create a new voice that is soft, reassuring, loving and unconditionally caring, and kind. Keep tally on a sticky note of each and every time you change your inner tonality to the new voice you created. Reassure yourself as the precious being that you are. I love you. You’re so amazing.
Listen to the audio companion: