Given that both the Summer Solstice and Father’s Day are on June 19th this year I would like to offer a strategy to help change the associations to this day – get moving!
Don’t stand or sit still!
Celebrate the longest day of the year with the intention of FUN!
Plan something together which is your partner or husband’s choice, fishing, biking, walking on the beach or in the woods, seeing a movie, or perhaps surprise him with an “out of the ordinary” day!
But whatever you do, shift the focus to that of creating a memory!
There’s a special place for the male in your life to escape and contemplate life. I define it as “The Man Cave:”
- The Man Cave: A solitary place for escape for males, perhaps your husband or partner. A place to retreat when contemplating a given challenging situation. A space is used for the purpose of regrouping and recharging.
Women often take offense at the men’s den, but they should realize that it’s not only necessary, it’s required for the well being of their guy’s mind, body and soul.
What I know now (that I wished I understood then) was that the associations each of us create in our mind regarding our creation process have a flow and a pattern. The emotional charge is consistently similar for both men and women. The difference is the way we react and process is different.
Accepting and appreciating the fact that your partner is digesting and processing your situation, and feeling similarly but showing it differently (perhaps suffering in silence), is so important. Remind yourself that through understanding you will create a sense of connection, not a divide
By shifting the association with “the man cave” from being stonewalling (an act of locking someone out of communication) to being grateful that after “coming out” of the cave, the person will be refreshed and ready to approach our situation as a team.
With Father’s Day approaching, along with summer, the gift of unconditionally understanding your guy’s need for solitude for the purpose of nurturing might be the perfect gift to give him. You might want to give thanks for his “man cave” and acknowledge its importance in balancing his mind, body and soul. His cave doesn’t have to be a specific location, such as a garage or office, maybe the man in your life’s “man cave” is fishing, sailing, biking or another solo activity. (listen at 2:00 PM on Thursday, June 18th Jonathan Boldt – Shooting Blanks share more)
One of my favorite quotes is that from Kahlil Gibran, “Let there be spaces in your togetherness and let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.”
So let the spaces in your togetherness fill you both up as you move through the creation time of your lives together.