In my job as an emotional support consultant and fertility coach who works closely with clinics, I connect with hope on a daily basis and consider myself to be a “holder of hope” for others.
Hope holding as a conscious practice means to stand as a quiet presence of support for patients, fertility doctors, nurses and others. I hold onto hope, even when it seems elusive. This can be especially true during the darkest part of any cycle – when a patient is told that their fertility treatment has failed.
Many times I have witnessed infertility nurses taking on the difficult job of being the bearer of this type of bad news. I have watched as they have tenderly and lovingly spoken to patients about the determination of the medical team to help them succeed.
They seem to almost brace themselves for the impactful moment when it seems as though the earth shook with hopelessness as the patient felt and understood the weight of this devastating news,
And one might ask, where is hope at these moments?
My personal journey through fertility challenges had me screaming out loud, “This is hopeless!” after receiving the news of a failed cycle.
But what I know now that I wish I knew then is that hope is a sustainable invisible essence that keeps us moving forward with intent and fortitude. It should be shouted from the rooftops and be a shared experience, especially during a profoundly anxious time.
Just like oxygen, the essence of hope is limitlessly available to us, but we sometimes forget and think hope only is granted to those who are achievers, the “haves” versus the “have-nots.”
I have had the honor of bearing witness to the impact of women breaking down only to summon up the fortitude to grab onto the power of hope and get back up while continuing on with laser focus to achieve their goal of being a mom.
For me, hope is the unwavering belief that you are worthy of receiving and creating all that is based on the highest and best for you. Regardless of what barriers are placed in your way, you are worthy and loved beyond measure. Hope fuel is always there, like a much needed gas station when your tank is dangerously low.
The expectation and desire of receiving is the definition of hope described in the Virtue Card shared below. When our mind (ego) slips away from our heart (soul), which is the holder of hope for all, we forget that hope is unlimited and feel as though we can’t go on.
So what do we do when we feel this despair? Just acknowledge that you are feeling hopeless, you can’t go on (at this moment) and let someone else hold the space for you to “go there” and release those feelings. We are never truly hopeless. Hopelessness is a feeling and our feelings change.
Don’t settle for hopelessness! Keep your eyes peeled to the vision of your dreams and let yourself be blinded by hope. Know that the trials and tribulation of this current journey will be soon forgotten when you reach the end.
Please feel free to print and keep the Hope Virtue Card with you as a visual reminder that hope is certain and you are a holder of hope, especially on those days that you are feeling hopeless. Chose a person that is your hope holder to walk this time with you.
Hoping that your hope overflows!
(Originally Published on January 23, 2014)