Does the prospect of Mother’s Day make you feel as though you need to send out your own private distress signal?
The word “mayday” comes from the French “venez m’aider,” which means “Come (and) help me!” I remember feeling as though I so longed for someone to come and help save me from my infertility but instead I hid myself from others and tried to “deal” with the situation alone.
Moving through the unexpected journey of fertility issues can leave you feeling as if you are alone, afloat on the vast ocean in a vessel on fire!
Perhaps your own personal mayday is just acknowledging your feelings about May 9th this year and giving yourself permission to feel what you need to feel — without judgment.
Ask yourself this question: What does Mother’s Day mean to you right now? And what should you do?
Perhaps you can take out your journal and let the answers to these questions just flow out of you for insight but also for cathartic reasons: Getting those toxic emotions out will help bring clarity.
Just as I advocate having a fertility game plan, I feel just as strongly that you should create a Mother’s Day Game Plan in response to your answers to the above questions.
Determine the best course of action for you right now — holding yourself in a place of compassion — and release the guilt or shame associated in doing what is right for you.
I worked through the three Mother’s Day that Mark and I experienced during our bumpy journey by saying this to myself: “Ten years from now, my decision about this day won’t be remembered”. And you know what? It’s ten years from those days and they are a distant memory.
Here are some options to speak to that part of you about “what should you do”:
- Take your mother or mother-in-law out the day before, week before or the weekend after Mother’s Day. Arrange for you and your husband to do something that you have “been meaning to do” or perhaps stay home in your warm bed and read.
Do what you need to do to take the “should” out of the day and know that you are doing the best you can by helping yourself.